It's the most wonderful time of the year!!

I'm so excited for Christmas this year!  Two years ago, I expected to be pregnant with my first child on Christmas.  We miscarried at 10 weeks in August and by Christmas I was so so sad and desperately wanted to be pregnant.  Needless to say, AF was late that month so I tested the morning after Christmas and was greeted by a BFN and lots of tears.  One year ago, Christmas wasn't so bad.  I still wasn't pregnant, but we were gearing up to do IVF and hoping for a Christmas miracle on the cycle before.  AF arrived the day after Christmas, so no testing needed and we dove into the world of IVF.

This year, this year...I'm tearing up as I write this...

This year, I don't want to be pregnant, I'm not sad at all, and there will be no AF or BFNs.  This year, I have my beautiful little eagles who are so awesome and have filled up that whole in my heart and made this once again the most wonderful time of the year!!  When we were struggling with infertility, every month that we were trying I would think about how far along I would be at Christmas time.  I so badly wanted to be pregnant at Christmas.  Well the jokes on me because I didn't get a chance to be pregnant at Christmas and this is so so so much better.  God's plan and his timing really are perfect and I am so thankful.

The eagles are doing great.  This week they have been waking up between 5-6am so that means that I get to feed them and get them dressed for the day before running off to work.  I love waking up to their smiley faces (after the finish nursing, of course!) and getting them dressed is so fun too!!  Today, they are wearing their Christmas outfits to daycare and they looked so cute!!  We always play music and have fun wake time either with the twins together in one crib or downstairs in their chairs or swing.  Then, when they start to get sleepy we put them in their car seats so that they can take a nap while CJ gets ready for work and to take them to daycare.  We actually have a pretty good routine in the morning, but I was running about 5 minutes late for work all week because the twins were so smiley and cute that it was hard to say goodbye!!  Today is my last day of work before having all of next week off and I can't wait!  We are heading up to my parents house for lots of fun and Christmas craziness!!

Happy Friday and Merry Christmas!!  What a difference 2 years makes!!

Ouch

I had heard a little bit about mastitis before I started my breastfeeding twins adventure.  I kinda figured that it was something that I wouldn't have to worry about since I am constantly either nursing or pumping.  That all changed this week.  It was probably a combination of my kids getting me sick with a little cold, stress at work, and the kiddos sleeping more at night that did it.  I woke up Tuesday morning feeling like my usual self.  I pumped since the kids were both still sleeping and I had to get to work.  After pumping, I noticed that my left breast was sore and painful to the touch.  I was worried about a plugged duct, but at this point I was running late and just had to get to work.  I called my sister from work while I was getting set up in the OR.  We both came to the conclusion that it was likely a plugged duct since I didn't have any systemic symptoms. No fever, chills, malaise, myalgias.  So I continued on with my day.  By 10am, I started to feel off.  By 11am, I started to have chills, but no fever ( I checked in the PACU.)  By noon, I was worried that I wouldn't that I wouldn't make it through my call.  By 12:30, I realized that I wasn't going to make it through the day at work.  I was nauseous and couldn't eat anything.  I had shaking chills and every muscle in my body hurt.  I could barely stand up straight and my left breast was killing me.  So, I got someone to take over my case and I ran up to see one of the lactation consultants who confirmed that I did have mastitis.  Then, I called my OB who called in an antibiotic and I took off for home.  As luck would have it, CJ was working from home that day so he took care of me.  He took my temp (103.5), loaded me up with Tylenol and ibuprofen, got me lots and lots of water, made me chicken noodle soup, tucked me in with lots of blankets, kept washing my pump stuff, picked up my antibiotics and the kiddos.  He was an all-star!!

Thankfully, today with the antibiotics, Tylenol, and ibuprofen and very frequent nursing/pumping I am feeling  better.  Still not 100%, but much better.  I'm on-call tonight and hoping that I get out soon so I can get some much needed rest.

Now, I just hope that my milk supply doesn't take a huge hit.  I was definitely not pumping as much today.  I'm going to start taking the Fenugreek again and eating oatmeal to try to get it back up, but I know that the kiddos will be fine with a little bit of formula.  

A year ago...

I find myself thinking back to what life was like last year at this time.  I posted this in early December last year!  It truly was the season for miracles!!   Here are my little miracle eagles...

I am so happy and so blessed.

2 months!!

My little eagles passed the 2 month milestone this week!!  Yesterday we saw our pediatrician (who we absolutely love!!)  She said that the babies are perfect!!  Baby boy weighed in at 11lbs 7oz and baby girl at a delicate 10lbs 3oz.  He is 50th percentile for weight with a head circumference that is 25th percentile and she is 25th percentile for weight and 50th percentile for head circumference.  We had all our questions answered about sleeping and eating and baby girl's flat spot on the back of her head (very mild according to the pediatrician) and we got some neck muscle stretching holds to do with her as well.  Then, it was time for their vaccinations.  3 shots plus one oral vaccination with a tylenol chaser.  The babies did great and even proceeded to come home and down their bottles.  The rest of the night was not so easy.  Baby boy had a fever by morning and slept fit fully on CJ's chest.  We gave him more tylenol this morning and he was doing much better but he bought himself a day in the sick room.   Luckily, baby girl didn't have a fever and her cough from earlier in the week was much better so she got to go back to the classroom.  Poor CJ has missed so much work this week with the colds, sick days, and dr's appointment.  

In other news, I am definitely struggling with the working mom thing.  It's hard.  On the one hand, I love what I do and I need to finish my residency, complete my fellowship, and then get a good paying job so that I can pay back my loans, so taking more time off is just not an option right now.  On the other hand, it's hard when the babies come home smelling like the women who take care of them and when I don't get to dress them in the morning and when I'm pumping all the time instead of nursing.  It's totally, totally worth it to be a working mom...it's just that I get it why some women opt to stay at home to take care of their precious miracles.  In retrospect, I think I just went back to work to soon.  I didn't really have an option to take more time off, but I think a full 3 months or maybe even just a full 2 months would have made a big difference instead of the 6 weeks.  

For now though we are in survival mode.  And it's not as bad as it sounds.  The days are filled with working and pumping for me and working and dropping off/picking up the babies for CJ and the evenings, nights, and early morning hours are filled with the babies...and the weekends...the weekends are just awesomeness with so much time to just be a parent and spend quality time with the babies.  CJ and I also try to sneak in some husband and wife time too.  I know we need more of that but we are learning!!

Okay, well that was just a lot of rambling, but it feels good to get it out there.  Thanks for reading!!