Yep, that basically describes my feelings daily. I am so in love with my twins, my little eagles and I am so terrifed that I won't get to meet them. Little things make me nervous...like registering (which we finally did since the shower is in 2 weeks), talking about the babies, planning for September...and big things like buying a new car. If it were a reasonable thing to do, I would wait until after the babies were here to get a new car just so that we were sure...but that doesn't sound like the best idea and CE found a great deal on a used car which we might be buying tonight. I'm just so worried that we will jinx it. Everything is going well so far. I continue to have braxton hicks contractions throughout the day, especially when I have to pee or stand up suddenly, but otherwise I'm feeling pretty good. And the babies have been great at reassuring me when I need it...I just press my hand on my belly and I am usually rewarded with a little kick.
I know that this fear won't really leave ever, so I'm going to just try to enjoy everyday that I am pregnant and continue to pray for my babies...that we get to meet them in September and that they are healthy and whole. I know that this is another side effect of my previous miscarriage and then the resulting infertility, but that doesn't make it any easier.
On a happier note, I'm almost 26 weeks, which mean only 2 more weeks until the 3rd trimester. Oh yeah, and my belly is huge, which means 2 big babies in there!!