Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Still scared...

Yep, that basically describes my feelings daily.  I am so in love with my twins, my little eagles and I am so terrifed that I won't get to meet them.  Little things make me nervous...like registering (which we finally did since the shower is in 2 weeks), talking about the babies, planning for September...and big things like buying a new car.  If it were a reasonable thing to do, I would wait until after the babies were here to get a new car just so that we were sure...but that doesn't sound like the best idea and CE found a great deal on a used car which we might be buying tonight.  I'm just so worried that we will jinx it.  Everything is going well so far.  I continue to have braxton hicks contractions throughout the day, especially when I have to pee or stand up suddenly, but otherwise I'm feeling pretty good.  And the babies have been great at reassuring me when I need it...I just press my hand on my belly and I am usually rewarded with a little kick. 

I know that this fear won't really leave ever, so I'm going to just try to enjoy everyday that I am pregnant and continue to pray for my babies...that we get to meet them in September and that they are healthy and whole.  I know that this is another side effect of my previous miscarriage and then the resulting infertility, but that doesn't make it any easier. 

On a happier note, I'm almost 26 weeks, which mean only 2 more weeks until the 3rd trimester.  Oh yeah, and my belly is huge, which means 2 big babies in there!!

5 comments:

  1. I am sorry you are still scared. I am too somedays - and i know a twin pregnancy just comes with that many more worries. But you are doing fantastic and passing important milestones, so just take it one big milestone at a time - next up 27 weeks! You are doing great :). And at this point, your babies are coming, you get to take them home! It is ok to believe it!

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  2. I know how you feel. Though I'm now at the point where I'm afraid of actually giving birth and suddenly being responsible for 2 infants at once! I think when you are a twin mom there is always so much more to worry about. I hope you can find peace in your worries soon!

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  3. It gets better, ever day a little bit better. don't know that it ever goes away completely, but it gets better.

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  4. I think what you are feeling is completely normal. I have procrastinated on many things preparing for my little one because I was afraid of jinxing his arrival. I literally just finished his nursery and I'm 36 weeks pregnant. Registering was really a big hurdle for me. I think it took me 3 separate visits before I finally gave in and registered. Unfortunately, I think it's just the way it is - considering everything we have been through. Some days are better than others and I try to focus on those! :) Every milestone is one step closer and it sounds like your pregnancy is going great!

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  5. I can relate! Expecting quads meant preparing early and that scared me after having a miscarriage before. These feelings are normal, but still no fun. You are nearing 28 weeks, which is a huge milestone! Best wishes for you and healthy babies.

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