I haven't cried for awhile. I've been really busy with the holidays and really, really excited about starting IVF and then I even ovulated on my own which was awesome. Last night was tough though. We went to the Zoo with my in-laws to check out the Christmas lights and see some animals. As soon as we got there I realized that this might not have been the best idea. There were so many children and so many families with many, many children and lots of women with young children who were visibly pregnant. Despite all of that, the reason I was so sad was because I couldn't bring my 9 month old baby boy or girl to the Zoo with his/her grandparents. It still breaks my heart that I lost my first child. Last Christmas I was still in mourning from my miscarriage and this Christmas, I'm still sad about my lost angel. Why did everything have to go so wrong?
Since there is no answer to that question, I will try to end on a more positive note. It's Christmas eve and I'm celebrating with my husband (who is so amazing) and his wonderful family. I might not have been very good this year, but I'm still hoping Santa leaves us some nice gifts this year. Since I haven't written a letter to Santa yet, I will post mine up soon.
Happy Christmas Eve!!