Well, the day has finally arrived. My sister is scheduled for her C-section tomorrow morning. Now, don't get me wrong. I am very happy for her and I'm happy that I will soon have another niece or nephew. But, it's still incredibly hard for me. I'm super jealous and I really wish I wasn't, but I can't help it (My therapist says that this is okay by the way). I feel a little nauseous actually and I just want to go to bed and not wake up until I'm pregnant. Yea, it's one of those days. The good news is that tomorrow morning I will have another niece or nephew and after tomorrow morning my twin sister won't be pregnant anymore. Instead, she'll be the mother of 3 beautiful children (that only cost her 2 failed months of clomid to make.) Actually, of her 3 pregnancies, 2 were by accident. Whereas building my family has come with so much loss, struggle, and heartache...and not to mention money. So, yea I'm jealous and I'm sad as hell that it's not me having a baby tomorrow. I know you may read this post and think that I'm a terrible person, but I'm just trying to release these pent up feelings so that I can go on being happy for my sister and the new addition to her family.
Thanks for listening.