Friday, May 20, 2011


Well it looks like CJ and I were able to conceive again, but it's looking like a chemical.  I got my hcg level checked today and it was only 9.3.  I prayed so hard for this baby that I just didn't think that if we finally did see 2 pink lines that it wouldn't lead to a baby...again.  I'm so sad.  I don't even think it's really worth it to check another level in 3 days since it's so low now.  I'm trying to brace myself for AF, but there is a tiny part of my brain that thinks maybe the numbers will double and this will lead to a viable pregnancy.  But I confirmed ovulation with opk's and bbt so I don't think I'm that far off.  Maybe I just implanted late.  I don't think I'm that lucky.  Why couldn't my number have been 93?!?  Chemical pregnancies seem like a cruel joke.  For 3 days, I was happy that I was finally pregnant again and now my world has crashed down.  On the other hand, at least the sperm met the egg again, so we're getting closer.  I'm stuck at work until 7am tomorrow morning and fighting off tears.  Next step, make an appointment with the RE and try to get seen next week before it's too late to start meds, scans, labs, ect. 

Total bummer...


  1. Just wanted to give you a big hug! I hope that you will get your BFP soon!! I will be following your blog :)

    ICLW #23

  2. Oh honey, I am so very sorry you are going through this. I went through loss after loss after loss when we were dealing with secondary infertility. I hope you get your miracle baby soon.

    ICLW #6

  3. Found your blog via ICLW, and look forward to following your journey.

    All the best,

  4. Hello from ICLWland. I will keep my fingers crossed for you! Best of luck moving forward!

  5. Big hug. Sorry you have to suffer like this. My hubby and I have been TTC for over 2 years, and suffered 2 miscarriages. I am at the end of trying, I'm 42. I want you to keep your hopes up- :)

  6. So sorry you are going through this. I had 2 chemical pregnancies last year and they are so hard. Praying for a miracle for you...

  7. Sending you big hugs. I just had a chemical pregnancy in the beginning of May, it is so heartbreaking.
    I hope the RE is able to give you some answers and develop a plan of action.

    ICLW #35

  8. Ah so sorry it was a chemical...I'm keeping everything crossed for another BFP, this time with a strong second line which gets stronger and stronger.

    ICLW #10

  9. Stopping by for ICLW... I'm so sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy. I had experienced one back in October so I can understand how you're feeling. I hope the RE can provide you with some answers.

  10. With ICLW... sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy.. I hope your RE us able to provide you with answers and a plan that will lead you to a bfp soon!

  11. Thank you everyone for your wonderful supportive comments. Since I'm new to the blogging world it feels so nice to feel welcomed into the community this way. Thank you for your comments, your prayers, and your support. I will keep my hopes up and I'll keep you posted on how it goes tomorrow.