Starting to lose hope...

Another day, another very, very faint second line.  I don't know what to think really.  Is it the test?  Is it a chemical?  Is this the real thing and it's still too early?  It's funny after 4 cycles of nothing but stark BFN's, I finally get to see a second line and it even shows up within the time limit.  But it's just so faint.  And it hasn't really gotten any darker over the past 2 days.  Here's how my day went so far...wake up at 6am...POAS...very, very, faint BFP.  Go to work, don't drink anything, hold it, wait until 10am...POAS again...very, very faint BFP shows up by 3 minutes and is marginally darker by the 5 minute time limit.  I so badly want to believe that this is it, this is my rainbow baby growing inside me...but I just can't be sure.  I even put in an email to my OB telling her that I saw a faint BFP on a HPT and could I please go get a beta today to see what's happening?  Part of the reason why I want to know so badly is that if it is just a chemical, then I want to be able to schedule my appointment with the RE so that I don't miss a month.  I know that only time will tell.  I was so hopeful and excited last night, fully expecting the line to be nice and dark this morning.  It was definitely a let down.  Today is 13 dpo.  I guess I'll find out shortly enough.  Stay tuned...