Thursday, June 23, 2011


10 dpo today, which on one hand is awesome because I'm almost through the 2WW. 

On the other hand, it's awful because I got a BFN this morning.  I know what you're all thinking.  "Why am I testing early after my chemical last month?"  I'm not exactly sure, but I just had this overwhelming desire to know whether or not I am pregnant.  I spent 15 minutes in bed prior to POAS praying for 2 lines on my test this morning.  I'm sure God has a wonderful plan and his plan is best, but I really hope that this is the month that our plans agree.  I have wanted to be pregnant again since the day I lost my first baby and it was been hard surviving these past almost 10 months without the realization of my hopes and dreams.  I just can't understand why it hasn't happened for me yet.  When is it my turn?  I'm trying to relax because I'm sure that has something to do with it, but after having a miscarriage relaxing and not thinking about it are 2 things that are very hard to accomplish.

So, yea, I'm still feeling down and now I'm feeling like I'm out.  I guess I'll just wait on AF to make her appearance next Monday or Tuesday.  Sorry for the downer post this morning.  It's nice to be able to vent about it.  All I can do is try to make the most out of this day.  We'll see how it goes.  Please send some prayers my way.

1 comment:

  1. I so know what it is to feel like you are out before it is actually over. :( I'm sorry that you are there right now. I will hold onto hope for you! I hope you are updating in a few days to share your BFP. Also, I too can't help but test early.