Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Waiting and thinking...

CD 16 and just waiting to ovulate and having fun BD'ing.  I really hope I ovulate this month without the Clomid on board.  I actually think it is more stressful waiting to ovulate that waiting in the 2WW.  If you don't ovulate, than your cycle is just really long and you don't even have a chance of being pregnant.  If you do ovulate that at least you know that you could be pregnant or at least you will get AF in a timely manner.  So, yea, I'm really hoping I ovulate.
Since I'm kinda taking a "break" this cycle, I'm trying to give CJ a break too which means that I'm not talking about my cycle, or seeing pregnant women at work, or my twin sister, or being sad, or anything having to do with our miscarriage or TTC (except the bare minimum since we're BD'ing every other day).  I think it's helping him because he definitely seems more relaxed and BD'ing feels more real and is more fun this time around.  It's hard for me though because the reality is I am still sad from time to time and it's hard seeing pregnant women at work and thinking about my pregnant twin sister is almost impossible and I so badly want to be pregnant, but I'm just sitting here wondering if I'm even going to ovulate this month.  So, I'm going to use the blog to express my feelings on these matters so that I can continue to give CJ his much deserved break.
I'm on call today, so I might have some time to post later tonight.  I think my next post will be about my thoughts on my pregnant twin sister.  She is probably around 12 weeks now and I just cannot believe how different our relationship is ever since I found out that she was pregnant.  More on this topic later, but for now I better get back to work.


  1. We are at a very similar point. I too decided to take a cycle off Clomid and a "break" though we are still TTC. I'm trying my best to be relaxed about the process, as well as realistic about the fact that I very well may not ovulate on my own.
    I hope we both ovulate naturally! Even if we don't get pregnant it would be nice to ovulate and not end up with super long cycles. I will be thinking about you the next few weeks.

  2. Good luck ovulating!! Hoping it happens for you this month.