A quick hello to everyone stopping in from ICLW. I'm gonna try to keep up with blogging and posting this week, but I've come down with a cold that has pretty much kept me on the couch or in bed whenever I'm not at work. I haven't been sick in a long time and I forgot how tough it is to get things done besides make it to work. I'm off to bed soon and hopefully, I'll be feeling better in the morning.
Just a quick cycle update, I'm 8dpo today. Wow, I can't believe that I'm already into the second week of my 2WW. Shh, don't tell CJ, but I decided to start testing early again at 6dpo and 8dpo and there was nothing there...just start white and one lonely line. I still feel like I could be pregnant this month, but I'm kinda losing hope at the same time. I think being sick has made it harder to stay positive.
Also, I had a conversation with my little 19 year old sister today in which she basically said that I was being selfish by not talking to my twin sister a lot since I found out that she's pregnant (oh yeah and she's 13 weeks pregnant already...I'm so jealous...and of course I can't talk to her a lot right now.) and that it's been almost a year since my miscarriage and I should be over it by now and everyone just wants to see me happy and maybe I'm not trying hard enough to be happy again and that even if I do get pregnant that won't fix everything that's wrong. That's basically the gist of our discussion today. As for me, I cried, told her I didn't agree and that she didn't understand at all, and waited for her to leave. It was painful. I know I'm rambling a little bit, but it was just so painful. I'm feeling better after spending some time with CJ and my puppy, but I can still hear her words echoing in my head. And I just want to clarify one thing...getting pregnant again and having my rainbow baby will without a doubt fix what's wrong with me. I don't doubt that for a second. I have put the rest of my life back together since my miscarriage and I'm doing pretty well with everything else right now, but I was broken last August 27th and I will be fixed when I finally succeed in making my rainbow and making my dreams come true.
Okay, now I'm off to sleep. If anyone has any extra baby dust, could you send it my way?!?